As mentioned in the previous blog, I had a beautiful talk with my long time friend. We got to talking about ourselves. He kept telling me that he hasn’t seen my ugly/bad sides where I lose my cool and/or frustration. I thought why would you want to see that? But he has a point. We have been friends for years since I was 15 years old. 17 years of friendship. Wow. At first, we weren’t close like we are now. We hanged out a bit there and here but our mutual friend was standing in our way. It was not a bad thing and it didn’t affect our friendship. Actually our friendship had to wait until I cut that mutual friend out of my life. That’s when our friendship started to bloom.
I have a lot of respect for him and for his wisdom. Most of important of all, he made me laugh. You can’t beat that. I always get a good laugh out by just hanging out with my friend. With him, I could be myself. I showed him my soft and true self. We enjoyed and loved having deep conversations about philosophy, life, history, spirituality, love, and many more. When we talked about memories and life experiences, I shared about the dark moments in my life but he was very surprised I went through such experiences. My friend jokingly accused me of being a ‘bad girl.’ Well, I was a rebel and still am a rebel to this day. Back then, I was still figuring who I was and I showed a different side to few people who were reflection of me. Wow, I just had an Ah-ha moment right there. Reflection. People who I used to be friends with had insecurities which irked the shit out of me but then I realized those insecurities were the same insecurities as I had. Of course I reacted to those insecurities based on my insecurities. I was not fighting with them but with myself. However, I did not have the same experience with my good friend. He was like a mirror of who I was. My friend was exactly who I was. Wise, spiritual, lovable, common sense, and brilliant.
He mentioned one more thing interesting insight about me. My friend said, “I know you have more things behind you. I know you’re holding them back but I am not pushing you to share and demand you to tell me right away. When the right time come, it will come.” I was astonished at about how intuitive he was. It was like he instinctively knew I was holding a lot of things back. Holy Cow.. but its easy to say that when you’re friend with someone for more than 15 years. He was RIGHT because I failed to share one significant life-changing thing about exactly who really I was. My long time friend did not know that I was a Psychic Medium who could talk with Spirits, passed loved ones, and Angels. There were many attempts where I almost told him about my cool superpower. AH! Why was I stopping myself? Fear of rejection? OH, of course who doesn’t? I think I was more afraid of losing our beautiful and one of a kind friendship. Perhaps I will work up guts to show him this specific blog.
Ah, I keep telling myself that I am a work in progress and will continue to evolving to be the best self. I still have a lot of learn and make adjustments. I am still working on finding the underlying reason behind my ego fears. Why was I so afraid to tell my friend that I could see dead people? Perhaps I let his energy to cut off my throat? Whatever the reason was but it was a very good reason to look deeply inside of me. Diving, exploring, and swimming toward the secret treasure chest that have the secret key and answer to my ego fear.
HOWEVER, one thing I am extremely positive and very sure about who I am. I am a Psychic Medium. That’s my main mission on Earth. Absolutely. I know that for a fact because I helped hundreds of strangers find their light and love.
Who really are you?
This above all: to thine own self be true. -William Shakespeare