I’ve always told my clients to be authentic and stay true to themselves but just last week, it hit me that I also need to take my own advice. I had a breakthrough while chatting with a guitarist and close friend of mine from England. We talked on Facebook messenger daily at night talking about everything under the Sun and being our dork selves. I realized I loved talking with him every night because he allowed me to be me. My musician friend also loved me for who I am. With him, I felt very comfortable and secure to be dork. I realized I have not really embraced myself including the dork inside me. Why? It was not something to be celebrated or praised in this current society. As a child, I was painfully shy. High school was really hard especially with cliques forming everywhere and I never felt I fit in. I forced myself to join with a group of friends but I always felt uncomfortable because their perspectives and morals were very different than mine. Truthfully, I just wanted to do my own thing, do classwork and go home but as an empath and sensitive, it was emotionally hard. You get bullied for being different, odd, and/or nonconformist. I did not understand and/or how to handle my sponge to energies. I just found it easier to follow the crowd. Yes, I swallowed my morals and values in order to feel a sense of belonging. Ugh, unbelievable.
Now that I looked back, I wish I did things differently but it taught me to just be myself and that people’s opinions does not matter. I guess you can say that the painful memories of being mocked of still haunts me to this day but not as much as before. Keep in the mind I am a work in progress. On the top of it, I am slowly coming out of the Psychic closet. Of course, the fear of judgement still exists but I am working on it. It was odd because ever since I discovered I was able to decipher the messages from the Spirit, I have more friends online rather than in person. I have a huge support system online via spiritual groups on Facebook. Needless to say, you’ll find me spending a lot of time on internet besides doing online readings. I am able to be myself and find comfort with sharing my feelings and Psychic experiences with like-minded friends. My guitarist friend reminds me how much he loved me for who I am as friends and how I support him. “Even when I was dork?,” I asked him. He said, “Oh, Minaa! I love everything about you! You’re a real friend!” That was more than enough for him. Being able to share our feelings that no one else could understand and being able to confide in each other was a reminder that regardless who I am I would always find people who loves me for who I am.
Because I am a work in progress, my fear of judgement visited me on occasion but I am good at keeping it in check and keeping it real. If you ever found yourself adjusting who you are according to other people, stop yourself and think again about the relationship with people in your life. It might not be for your highest and greatest good. No one ever needs to lie to themselves to make people feel comfortable. That’s the first red flag because that means people do not accept and celebrate who you are.
I also have a huge ‘Ah-ha’ moment on yesterday while talking and getting to know my colleague whom I will be doing a medically intuitive collaboration reading with. We were joking and being our dork selves. I apologized few times for being dork but my colleague appreciated my vulnerable side so much that he reminded me once again, “You are deserving. Celebrating your brilliance is your birth right!” Boom! I realized that my dork and vulnerable side were my best traits. Last week and this week were significant in understanding and finding what’s the true definition of being authentic. I now honor and celebrate me. Now it’s your turn to celebrate you.
Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got. -Janis Joplin