We all know that butterfly feeling in the stomach before your first date with the person you had an instant connection. Mixed emotions are surging. You’re nervous. You’re sweating. You’re excited. You’re confused.
Your heart is beating fast as the minutes are ticking down to the first date. You’ve just changed your outfits for a third or fourth time before determining a ‘perfect first date attire.’
You’re likely running around your house like a headless chicken and ransacking through your closet one more time. There are so many thoughts running through your mind,
“What if s/he doesn’t like me?
What if s/he don’t like my clothing?
Why did s/he ask me out? I don’t think I am good enough for her/him.”
Before you realized it, the time has come for you to go on an intimate date with the person you just met. There’s no going back.
By then, you’re thinking to yourself,
“This is it. This date might turn into my best relationship ever… or not.”
Your smile suddenly turns downward thinking about the worse scenario if the date fails to meet your expectations.
Nonetheless, the inner voices tell you to go and enjoy the date without worrying about the possible outcome.
You took a deep breath.
And you went.
. . . . . . .
The Struggle Is Real
We all have been there many times throughout our lives. However, the courage to go on the first date of your relationship seems to fade after several failed relationships.
It is becoming difficult to let go of the distrust and fears after going through past turbulent relationships.
But that’s not the biggest dilemma. The dilemma is that you’ve been holding on the secret deep inside of your heart, you want love and relationship so much.
You do not know how to move past the fear of love and relationship. You might think you’re not girlfriend/boyfriend material. There are so many things you dislike about yourself.
What if I tell you as a relationship coach that you are an ideal girlfriend/boyfriend for someone who is looking for you?
What if I tell you that you can turn your perceived ‘flaws’ into your best assets?
What if I tell you that you can trust and love again?
You might be rolling your eyes and immediately thought, “Ha! there’s no way I am an ideal girlfriend! Love is too hard! I am too scared!”
Having doubts, skepticism, and fears are okay. Being aware of your feelings are utmost important when reflecting on inner blockages, self-esteem, and fears to manifest your ideal romantic relationship.
Maybe going on the first date intimidates you and you’re doing everything to avoid it, but truth be told, having the first date is how you manifest your relationship.
It gives you both of you guys an opportunity to get to know each other, enjoy each other’s company, finding things in common, and sharing intimate information as a way to develop trust, compassion, love, and connection before sharing a romantic journey together.
Maybe you’re afraid of sabotaging the first date with your conditioned fears and past relationship trauma.
I think it’s safe to say that we all have that fear about the possibility that the first date might not lead to a second date or a long-term relationship.
It is a matter of being mentally prepared that the first date with a potential romantic partner might not turn out to be your girlfriend or boyfriend and instinctively know that it’s okay.
A failed first date does not mean you’re not dateable, loveable, or desirable. It just does not work out. Sometimes, things do not work out. That’s life. Consider it as a blessing in a disguise.
It also means taking an honest look into your past relationship patterns. It is going to take to reframe your relationship patterns, boundaries, perception of self, and self-esteem for better.
Every romantic experience brings you closer to your ideal romantic partner. Each romantic prospect reflects your inner world. Pay attention to what others are saying about you or acting around you.
You want them to reflect your best qualities. If they do not make you feel good about yourself, take it as a cue to make your visualization of your ideal romantic relationship clearly and then, move forward.
That might be the tricky part, but there is no reason to get stuck after a failed first date. Yes, it can put a damper on your confidence, but it’s important to give yourself the space to process whatever the emotions were triggered.
I mean, it happens. The first date can become bad, or it leads to nowhere. It just does not work out, however, be grateful that it doesn’t work out for whatever reason.
There is no time to fear the ‘what ifs, shoulds, or what happens.’
Like the saying, ‘take a leap of faith.’ In this case, take a leap of love. To overcome the first date jitters, you have to believe that you are deserving and worthy of someone’s love.
Inevitably, you’re going to make mistakes, but do apologize quickly and forgive yourself. It’s a lot of trials and errors, but with practice, you become an ideal first date for someone else.
My advice? Be honest and share your vulnerability with your first date. Soon or later, someone will appreciate you.
You know what?
Do you ever think your first date might be as nervous as you are?
[Side note:] If you are really afraid to sabotage your first date, please know that your feelings are valid. We all need support from time to time to figure out the best way to overcome challenges and fears surrounding love and relationship.
My “Manifest your Love” coaching program created for women only might show you that there is nothing to fear. Think of it as your pre-first date!
In my program, you do not have to worry about being criticized for the way you look, the way you express love, the way you talk, and the way you perceive love.
You will be embraced, supported, loved and heard in our six weekly intensive private one-on-one coaching sessions.
In “Manifest your Love” program, you will:
- learn what’s your ideal romantic relationship
- gain confidence in your partner choice
- embrace the first date jitters as anticipation and excitement
- view yourself as a girlfriend material
- learn that a failed first date is a blessing in a disguise
- build a better relationship with self
- love yourself
- increased self-esteem
- confidently ask for what you want/need in an ideal romantic relationship
- learn it’s okay to fear love because it is so beautiful and you want to make sure you are sharing it with someone you trust and love
- go on your first date!
So, that’s probably the only time you can ‘avoid’ the first date jitters by signing up for the six weeks of coaching, email support, card readings, and self-reflection questionnaires.
There’s always a first time for everything! You might as well as go on a mock first date with me to ease your first date jitters and find the confidence to share your secret with the world that you are ready for love!
Are you ready? Are you prepared to overcome your fear of love?
If yes without hesitation, contact me to sign up and receive $200 off the coaching package for a limited time only (expires on August 8 @11:59pm PST) at firstname.lastname@example.org
I look forward to exploring this love quest with you!